I spy

Eben: "I spy with my little eye something beginning with C"

Kitty: (big smile and pointy finger) "the thing what lives at the beach"

Looking down the barrel of inertia

Louis: {after a long period of puzzled silence} You know when you look down the barrel of inertia? 

Me: No, but that's very profound Louis.

Louis: What does profound mean?

Nic: Profound is when you think about something very hard and then say something wise...

Louis: Oh

Nic: ...and 'staring down the barrel of inertia' is a very profound thought Louis. 

Louis: No, I said 'you know when you look down the barrel of a nerf gun'

Laces

N: 'Shall I do your boots up?'

K: 'No, I putting my lace up my nose so I can get my snot out.'

30 secs later

K 'I finished'

Lent

Me: 'Do you think you could give up food for 40 days and 40 nights Lou?'

Louis: 'What do you think I am, Jesus?'

No reindeer required

K: Daddy san-ta come in a opilicopter

Genius

C: Mummy's a genius

E: No she's not

N: If I'm not a genius what am I?

E: A widow

N: No I'm not a widow, do you know what a widow is?

E: No

N: A widow is a married woman who's been left behind after her husband dies.

E: Nooooo I said you're a weirdo.

Compost

N: Ooooo look at that Lou. Look how rich that is. It's amazing to think that that's just garden cuttings and vegetable peelings isn't it?

L: Yeah to me that's not so interesting

N: OK yeah fair enough.