Laces

N: 'Shall I do your boots up?'

K: 'No, I putting my lace up my nose so I can get my snot out.'

30 secs later

K 'I finished'

Lent

Me: 'Do you think you could give up food for 40 days and 40 nights Lou?'

Louis: 'What do you think I am, Jesus?'